The Twitter Flu Blues

I have the Twitter flu blues. No, this is nothing to do with the hackneyed pun of a computer virus doing the rounds; this is an illness induced by reading the symptoms of those in my Twitter followship who are suffering the real thing. I sympathise. I also empathise and this is the root of the problem.

The more I read of their snifflings, stuffy headaches, aching bodies and general ennui, the more I take on their symptoms. It’s a psychosomatically-contracted illness and as insidious as the real thing.

I feel perfectly healthy when I turn on the computer in the morning to catch up with my Twitter family. But, within a few minutes, my throat is dry, my nose snuffly and my head filling with damp cotton wool. Then off to work I go and, by the time I get there (I go by the bus that takes the scenic route but that’s another story) I’m all healthy again – joy!

Then, chances are I’ll get soaked on the way home – the tropical season known as The Wet has been renamed The Inundation this week and it’s five blocks from the nearest bus stop. At home I shower and towel off vigorously then once more check in with Twitter.

Slowly the symptoms seep past my rational mental defences and ten minutes later I’m convinced I’m coming down with the worst cold ever and lamenting the lack of tissue boxes in the house – I mean, at a time like this, is five enough? I feel my forehead and cheeks – they’re flushed and I’m breaking into a sweat. Well yes, I live in the tropics and it’s a very humid 32^oC (90^oF) but I’m sure my temperature is spiking. My head is achy and I feel so tired in spite of getting quality sleep last night – at least 4½ hours (I swear I’m going to lock both cats out of the bedroom tonight).

Bedtime at last and I’m tucked up cosily, bolstered by lots of pillows with a good book and a fresh tissue box by my side. At least you’re never alone with a cold.  Like a fond lover, my cold comes to bed with me. It squeezes me tight, particularly about the throat and ribcage; keeps me awake and sets my body a-trembling, the latter owing everything to a feverish temperature and absolutely nothing to ecstasy, more’s the pity. I turn on the air con and finally fall asleep.

Next morning I’m feeling fine again – hooray! Then I turn on the computer...

That’s the Twitter flu blues.