The X Factor Australia Eliminations: Week Six

This is the sixth in a series reviewing The X Factor results shows. Weeks 1-5 can be accessed from the archives listed on the right. Please note that no contestant or judge/mentor was harmed in the writing of this blog. The RRSPXFCJ (Right Royal Society for the Protection of X Factor Contestants and Judges) was in attendance in the imposing personage of Chopper Reed who does an impressive mash-up in the latest blue language mixed with some old favourites (have medication for the ringing in my ears and should start to recover hearing in a couple of days).

With emotions at a mid-season high for viewers, mentors and contestants alike, the juggernaut that is X Factor Australia 2011 steered a fan-battered but unwavering course into week six where it instantly hit a whirlpool of sensational comments from the judging panel in the live show. First in the firing line was popular duo, Sound and Lighting, who drew this reaction from Mel B: “Look, you’re well-named because you do have these two distinct aspects to your performance and I’m gonna comment on those. Lighting, I think you were just perfect tonight, an absolute stand-out for me but Sound, what are ya doing? You’re all over the place! Just sayin’”. Ronan followed up with, “I agree with Mel; you need to find the right balance between the backing music and vocals. At this stage of the competition every act needs to be incredible and you’re just not there yet. Get it together, guys, this show needs you and we need you to go all the way, right to the very end.” Nat and Guy reiterated these sentiments in their own comments and it was a much chastised Sound and Lighting who left the stage after muttering promises to do better.

The next revelations from the judging panel had your faithful correspondent reaching for the rewind button on the remote to check the evidence of her own ears. Now it’s expected that in every live show, each act faces just three judges plus their mentor. It’s accepted practice for mentors to heap praise upon their acts and do whatever it takes to nullify any negative criticism. Thus, when Natalie told her contestant, Bad Boy Bubba, "Yeah there's a long way to go, of course, absolutely. It was very shaky” viewers were completely unprepared. Here was a mentor breaking the unwritten, unspoken code of mentorship and actually criticising her own act! I thought it impossible but, in response, Bubba took his trademark sulky expression to new heights and even now performance art experts are discussing justification for declaring it an art form in itself.

Viewers barely had time to recover before Guy Sebastian landed yet another stunning blow on the face of mentoring tradition. In a rare moment of weakness, Guy let honesty get the better of him when confronted with his lad, Rocky Robin, after what can only be described kindly as a below par vocal performance. As the likeable lad stood before him, Guy unexpectedly declared, “Rocky, did I think you were going to nail that song when I gave it to you? No. I knew you'd drop flat and get a little bit out of control but...” and I missed what came after that – I was in shock! The show should warn viewers before telecasting such outrageous honesty! The rest of the show went by in a blur.

Then, in a plot twist any writer would be proud to claim, Nat and Guy faced off in a fight to see which of them could lose their act first. They led the voting and, in a touching display of private hope, each prematurely farewelled their respective contestants with stirring comments that were encouragingly damning. Mel B followed. She weighed up both acts and, finding each equally wanting, narrowed it down to one essential: muscles. Bubba had shown off his ‘guns’ already but Rocky had cleverly concealed his in fire-engine red leather. It was a no-brainer for Mel who, with the tantalising prospect of seeing Rocky’s ‘guns’ sometime in the not too distant future, voted to keep him and send Bubba home. Ronan, unswayed by musculature of any kind, voted for Rocky to go thus forcing the deadlock for the third week in a row.

It was a predictable result from the public. Rocky has been steadily building a loyal fan base while Bubba has been subsisting on the sympathy vote which had run its course and run out of money. Thus Natalie claimed victory over Guy who remains the only mentor left with a full team and a full workload into which he’s squeezing celebrations of his 30th today. Happy birthday, Guy.